The Decision
by AleGnA
Summary: Can anyone put aside their selfishness, put aside their own personal feelings, and make a decision that could change the course of their life? Even if the outcome is unknown?
1. Default Chapter

AN: Well, this will probably suck. More than likely, but I wanted to post it anyway. Yes, I remember my other fics that have yet to be updated. My apologies to my reviewers on that. I've been I in a state where my writing has been affected greatly. It has persuaded me to write this messed up little ficlet though. Hmm... amazing what depression can do, eh? Well, hope you enjoy. 

THE DECISION

Chapter 1

It's a beautiful night tonight. A light breeze blows through my opened window, ruffling my hair. If it weren't for the seriousness that surrounded me, I might have welcomed the serenity of it all. I might have considered smiling and basking in the moon's light. I despised that moon in all it fullness. Cursed it for actually having a rotation so that it might shine so brightly on me. Didn't it care that my heart was breaking? 

Even as I sit here now, wiping the nonexistent tears from my cheeks, I know I can't blame the moon. Maybe I should blame myself for falling in love. I can feel my lips turn upward in a sad smile. I can't blame myself for that, can I? Everyone knows that you can't stop yourself from falling in love. When I really think about it, no, I would never take back anything that I've ever encountered since I realized that I had fallen in love. Placing the blame on myself would only make me doubt that love and I just can't bring myself to that.

I've made my decision and even though my heart feels like it's dying, I have to stick to it. I have to be strong and do the right thing. I keep telling myself that over and over. Do the right thing, Kagome. You know it's best. Just do the right thing. I didn't think I'd ever had the strength in me to make a decision like this. Does anyone really? Can anyone put aside their selfishness, put aside their own personal feelings, and make a decision that could change the course of their life? Even if the outcome is unknown? 

I'm beginning to waver in my choice. It would be so easy now to just turn back and make another decision. To just say, "no, I change my mind." Part of me wants to do that. Part of me wants to be selfish and deny the truth. A shuddering sigh escapes from the back of my throat as I look to my bed. The events of the past month run through my mind. Haunting me again with the decision I have come to make. No, I can't be selfish. It's not fair.

For a brief moment, I recall the time before that, when I knew for sure I was loved. A time when I was involved in a great battle that had my friends and I worn and weary. The time when we finally defeated Naraku in a fierce battle that not only involved my comrades and I, but others whom we'd thought hadn't cared much on such matters. That battle had been long and hard, but we finally succeeded. Naraku, with our powers and skills, had been defeated and the Shikon no Tama was once again whole and resting in the palm of my hand.

I had thought my trials to be over then, but there was one more I had overlooked. The undead miko, Kikyou had joined us in this battle and her chilling voice had called out to Inuyasha as soon as the dust had settled. I felt my heart clench in my chest when she sought him out, embracing him like I had once wished to do. 

I had come to know that I loved Inuyasha. I had admitted it to myself, but those words would never reach his ears. I didn't know what he felt for me and I wasn't going to stand in the way of his happiness. Be it with me or with Kikyou. I would always be with him.

Imagine my surprise when she pulled away from his hold and turned to me. Her voice held no malice toward me and a look of enlightenment seemed to grace her pale features. "I can see now, where I was wrong and I can understand more clearly how far you would go to protect each other. Naraku has been defeated; not by the hands of your friends, nor by my own, but of the bond you hold together."

I didn't know what to say to that, but I didn't have to worry because she didn't give me time. Her eyes turned to Inuyasha and she spoke again. "There was a time when I wanted to take you with me to Hell. I had thought you owed it to me for bringing my death. I was grateful for this new life, one which I didn't have to guard my emotions because of my duty. Hatred, rage, betrayal and sorrow consumed me, but my love for you was still there. This time and place is not mine anymore, I've known this, but my jealousy would not let me rest. You made a promise to join me, but I can no longer ask that of you. I know longer claim your heart." Inuyasha had begun to protest her words when she turned to me.

"Take it, Kagome. My soul will be at peace with you. Take it and set me free. I know he's in good hands." She said no more after that, walking toward me. I had peered over her shoulder to see Inuyasha's confused, hurt eyes watching me. I couldn't deny Kikyou's request. We both knew she didn't belong here anymore and even though it tore me apart to cause him pain, I drew the rest of Kikyou's soul back into my body.

Everything had been so quiet and still after that. He hadn't looked, or spoken to me as he gathered Kikyou's remains. The two day trip back to Kaede's had been so full of tension. I showed happiness when I was required. Miroku's kazaana had disappeared and that was cause enough for my smiles. Sango had lost her brother, but not before he remembered her and he was cleansed of his sins. She was sad, but healing and Miroku had promised to take good care of her.

I couldn't take much more of Inuyasha's silence. I wanted to know. If he hated me for taking her away, I wanted to at least hear him say it. As soon as we passed the Goshinboku, I tugged at his sleeve, slowing his pace so that the others were far ahead of us. I could feel his gaze on me and not knowing how to start the conversation, I asked the first question that popped in my head.

"What do you plan to do, Inuyasha, with the jewel now that it's complete? Will you use it to become a full blooded youkai?" I don't know why, but for some reason, I wanted to hear what he had to say. I wanted to know where I stood.

"Does it matter?" He snapped. Maybe I was better off with the silent treatment. I sighed and turned to face the tree. Running my hand over it.

"No, I suppose not. That's your decision." I muttered.

"Damn straight." Though my back was facing him, I could hear him pacing. He had never been good at confrontations. I knew why he was mad and he knew I was pussyfooting around it. We could read each other so easily.

"I'm sorry, Inuyasha. You can use the jewel to bring her back. I..." I turned slowly, facing him.

"Shut up!" I was taken back by that. His angry golden eyes caught mine before I lowered my face. This is where he would tell me he wanted nothing more to do with me.

"She didn't give me a say, do you honestly think I'm going to let you do the same?" I had been confused by that question. I had only proposed that he use the jewel to bring his love back.

"I-Inuyasha, you can use the jewel to bring her back, I don't mind. You can be happy, that's all I want." He was frustrated, I could clearly see that. He brought one of his hands up to rake through his hair and I caught the growl raising in his chest.

"I don't care about the damn jewel! Forget about it! I know what you're thinking and I care about you too much to let you leave me!" It was the closest thing to an 'I love you' that I would expect to get from him at the time. I could tell, even though his eyes were still blazing with anger that I would leave him alone, his cheeks were turning scarlet at that blurted comment. He was embarrassed and though his communication skills were poor, it had been enough to make me blush.

"I didn't know you cared." I whispered this, scuffing my toes into the ground. I glance over to watch him cross his arms over his chest and huff in his usual manner. 

"Keh, now you know. What of it?" He was trying to act all tough like it wasn't getting to him that I hadn't said anything and I knew he was waiting for me to say something negative about it. How could I ever find something negative to say about him caring for me?

"I want you to be happy, Inuyasha. That's all I've ever wanted and if that happiness comes from being with Kikyou then..."

"Why can't it come from you?" Now, I can truly say that I was surprised by that. Saying that he cared about me, sure, but saying that he wanted me over Kikyou and I was his happiness was different. My mouth opened and closed for several seconds before he started again.

"If I wished on the jewel to bring Kikyou back, a part of me would be happy, but more of me would... I don't want to lose you, isn't that enough?!" I swear, I never felt so happy hearing him say that and tears immediately sprang to my eyes. 

"Shit, Kagome, don't cry." I could see the panic in his eyes. He never did know what to do when I started crying. I'm an emotional person, always have been. I wiped the tears from my eyes, giving him a watery smile. He was waiting for me to use the subduing spell. His shoulders tense, ears twitching, eyes wide and his hands held out in front of him as if he were trying to soothe my wrath or something. I shook my head, wiping the rest of my tears away and walked toward him.

"I'm not going to say it, Inuyasha. I won't say it, I promise. Better yet, let me..." I took hold of the rosary, attempting to bring it up over his head when his hands caught my wrists. My eyes locked on his and I can safely say that I was drowning in them. Yes, I've heard that before too, in a million different romance novels, but it was true. There was something in his eyes that had always held me and that something had change. It had grown stronger and more gentle. Was that love?

"Leave it. I think... I'd feel naked without it." I giggled, remembering the first time I'd used that very statement about my watch. He had practically torn my bag apart trying to find it. At the smirk on his face, he must have remembered too. That look in his eyes turned from playful back into that something look I couldn't quite name and his hands moved down my arms. His face was inches away from mine, slowing moving forward so that I thought he was going to kiss me until his arms came around my waist. Before I knew it, I was engulfed in a tight embrace, his chin resting on my head. I had been confused and disappointed to say the least, but this was Inuyasha after all. 

"Promise me you won't leave, Kagome." I sighed, resting my head against his chest, listening to his heart. I didn't have to think about it then. I didn't have to make a decision. My heart told me where I would be a long time ago. I smiled, pulling back to press a hand to his cheek.

"I promise, Inuyasha." It seemed to please him then. Maybe if we had known what was going to happen, things might have been different. Again, the heart is a mysterious thing. I never pondered it then, when he was holding my hand, guiding me back to the village or in the weeks after that when we were relaxing, basking in each other's presence. I am glad I had that at least. We had wonderful memories together. Memories that would still remain in my heart until the day I died.

TBC...

AN: Well, I had intended this to be a one shot, but time and such has gotten to me so, I'll post the rest tomorrow. This weekend's a long weekend so that means no work Friday. I'm hoping to have a chapter for my other two stories. Keep an eye out people! Please, please, review! It does wonders for my self esteem! *smiles* 


	2. The Problem

**CHAPTER 2:**

**THE PROBLEM**

Once all the excitement from the battle and events surrounding it had died down, things started getting slower, more relax. We still had to fight the occasional youkai that kept attacking the village since the jewel hadn't been wished upon yet. That alone seemed to be Inuyasha's excuse as to why I had to stay in the Feudal Era instead of going home.

We may have come to an understanding of how much we cared for each other, but we were still on uneven ground when it came to my comings and goings. I still needed to finish school and since the jewel had been collected and whole again, I had been going home more frequently. Weeks would be spent doing my studies and then I would go back to the feudal era on the weekends and when I had no homework of course. Inuyasha hadn't agreed with this arrangement and the whole thing had blown out of proportion so much that my mother had been involved.

Now, I can admit that I have my flaws, nobody's perfect right? One of my biggest flaws was my lack of patience with him. I had never stopped to think of the reasons behind his ranting about me not leaving. I had never just once stopped to ask him why it bothered him so much or explained the reasons behind me going. Well, I had explained that I HAD to go and that was it. I had never explained the benefits of it. My mother seemed to do that quite well.

"I know how much you miss her when she's here, I know she's needed there to protect the jewel, that it is her responsibility as it was the miko's before her, but what she learns here at school not only provides her with a stable future, it aids her in the past as well. The knowledge that she learns and takes back there could help people who don't yet have the conveniences that we do. Do you understand?" Mama has a way with words sometimes and her voice is so calming and gentle.

"She's already smart enough, why should she need to know more?" The glare I had been giving him turned into surprise even as he turn his nose up and crossed his arms. He hadn't even realized he had just complimented me. That figures. Mama just giggled, her warm smile lighting up the room as she reached out to pat his arm.

"We are all still learning, Inuyasha. Knowledge is never ending." After Mama's explanations, he had still been reluctant to let me go, but our arguments had been reduced and after a few weeks of his more than quiet attitude, I had decided to question him. The night I had picked so happened to be on the New Moon. He had told me, rather reluctantly, that he felt one day I wouldn't return. I couldn't promise him I wouldn't. Only that, if it came to that, it wouldn't be because I didn't want to. I always wanted to be by his side.

I suppose that's what got us where we are now. Maybe it really was my fault and I should have looked more into his fears. I was too naive to think of any other possibilities. Maybe I was just too optimistic. With these events in mind, I can draw closer now, analyzing the more recent events to better the decision I have to make. One that most might know by now.

One month ago today, I had decided that since it was the New Moon I would ask Inuyasha to come with me. I had a test in the morning, but I was more than positive that I would pass. Since I had started going to school more often, I had really picked up with my studies. Inuyasha had refused at first, claiming how he didn't need protection. Of course, one puppy eyed look and some refined begging hadn't worked until I made myself cry. It had been a dirty trick, but it worked.

We hadn't done much since I had that test in the morning. Supper went well and then we went to sit outside and look at the sky. He had asked me why the stars weren't as bright here and that had led me into a long conversation about the differences in our times. It was sad in a way. His time seemed so much more like home sometimes. So peaceful and clean, unlike our modern world. Right then it didn't matter to me what time I was in as long as he was there.

The next morning, I walked him to the well house promising to return and tell him how my test went. He rolled his eyes, crossed his arms and pretended to be indifferent about it. I ignored it of course. He was just hiding behind his usual mask. I never expected him to change the person he was just because I wanted a few nice words. He gave me plenty anyway. The content smile I always seem to wear whenever he's around doubled when he told me he knew I'd do fine. It was the compliment I would take with me to class in order to pass my test.

As soon as we entered the well house, he jumped the stairs and perched on the lip of the well before giving me a quick nod. I watched until the tip of his hair disappeared, then turned to leave. The dull thud of something heavy hitting the bottom of the well stopped me with a cold shiver going down my back.

Slowly, I turned my eyes back to the supposedly empty well and waited to see if I'd hear anymore of it. Sure enough, a scuffing noise entered my ears followed by the faintest intake of breath. My feet carried me down the stairs to the edge where I looked down to meet confused golden eyes.

"Kagome?" I watched as he looked around the closed in area of the well before looking back up to me for some kind of explanation. Not that I had any, being just as confused as he was.

"Maybe it's just a fluke?" I tossed the idea, but deep down I knew there was something wrong. Something seriously wrong that wasn't just one of those little things that would go away given time.

He jumped out, looked incredulously at the deep dark inside before jumping back in. Nothing happened. Two, three, four more times and still the well wouldn't open up and accept him. I could see the worry in his eyes even has he tried to hide it behind his anger. I was worried too. Not because he couldn't leave, but because the others would worry and the village would be unprotected without him.

Inuyasha's forest was peaceful now that Inuyasha had taken residence in the village. No youkai dared enter his territory and any that did hadn't lived long enough to flee and tell others. I knew that with Sango and Miroku now living in the village, it would be safe until Inuyasha's scent faded from the forest. Having a demon exterminator as a friend comes in handy.

Inuyasha's curses were coming more fluently and I was sure he was beginning to panic now. I could understand why of course. He was stuck here in a time he didn't know and hated. I was the only reason he had come in the first place. I bit my lip and watched as he tried again and again to get through the time slip.

"Maybe we should just wait a while..."

"For what? The well won't let me through Kagome! Will it even let you through?" Before I had a chance to answer, his hand shot out to grab my arm. I gave startled squeak as he pulled me against his chest and jumped into the well again. We both hit the bottom, him in a crouch and me on my behind where I had slid from his loose grasp. I could have sat him then. I really wanted to, but he apologized, dejectedly and helped me to my feet.

"Give it some time. Maybe there's a reason it's not working. I have go to school now, but if you're still here when I get back, we'll try to figure something out." I was using it as an excuse now. I could have just stayed home with him and tried to figure out the reason behind the well's sudden sealing, but that look on his face and the desperation he had to get back... it made my heart sink into the pit of my stomach. I couldn't face him then and I turned, hurrying out the door before he could say anything about it.

He never came to find me at school that day and I somehow managed to get through that test telling myself that it was just a fluke. The well had opened up and finally allowed him through. That was what I told myself throughout the day until I got up the stairs. Mama was waiting for me at the top. She looked worried and a little bit scared, which concerned me.

"He hasn't come out of the well house all day, Kagome. I'm afraid that if he keeps digging, that well won't be dry anymore. What's going on?" I sighed and explained what happened before walking toward the well house. Mama went back in the house and I assumed she had been trying to get him inside most of the day.

"Inuyasha?" I couldn't see him, but I could hear him scraping around at the bottom of the well.

"What?" He didn't sound happy and I couldn't blame him really. What could you expect from a person that just got locked away from his own home. I leaned over the edge and looked down to find him standing there, completely covered in filth, still digging away. I was scared to say anything much less think it.

"It didn't work..."

"Does it look like it worked?!"

Okay, so that had to be one of the stupidest things I could have said at the time. I guess I had just been leading myself on. Thinking that maybe by just saying that it didn't work, that it might just magically open up and he'd be gone. That he wouldn't be standing down there glaring up at me like I had something to do with the whole thing.

"I was just making an observation!" I had to heal my wounded pride. I mean, I had just been caught in a humiliating moment. There wasn't much time to think about that though. Just seconds after I had opened my mouth, he had jumped up through the well's opening. I only had few scant seconds to step back before he landed on me.

"This is no time to be messing around, Kagome! The well is sealed! Sealed! Can't you see that!?" He had me by the shoulders, shaking me slightly with every exclamation that left his mouth. I was overwhelmed then, torn between wanting to defend myself and comfort him. I broke away from him, pulling my arms away and silently thankful he hadn't had a tight grip.

"I'm sorry! I don't know why the well is sealed!" I turned away, wrapping my arms around myself. Did he really hate it here so much? I couldn't help but think these things. I couldn't even stop the tears from pricking behind my closed eyelids.

"I know how much you hate it here. I'll figure something out." Even though I mumbled it. Hardly hearing it myself as it passed my lips, he heard it plain as day. I cursed his ears sometimes. He was silent for a few moments before I heard him sigh and step closer.

"Kagome... I..."

"It's okay, Inuyasha. You don't have to say anything." I didn't want to hear him lie to me. I didn't want him to think he had to like it here because of me.

"Would you stop doing that! Just because this time stinks and it's noisy and crowded... it doesn't mean that I don't want to be here!" So I was more than shocked. He never gave any indication that he liked anything about this time. I knew he wouldn't get into detail about what it was exactly that he liked, but he was being honest when he told me that. He was always rather blunt when cornered. I think I must have been silent for too long. His hand reached out to catch my hand and I turned to look up at him.

"I'm sorry." I knew he wouldn't say it, so I decided it was time to start.

"Keh, don't worry about it. I'm hungry, lets go inside." I smiled and let him tug me toward the door.

"I promise, I'll find a way to get the well to open, Inuyasha." He just nodded and kept going. I knew it was still bothering him, but I didn't bother pressing the matter. He had told me he didn't mind being here. I didn't have to worry. Deep down, I wanted him to stay. In reality, I was being selfish.

**AN**: Okay, so now you can all take turns beating me around for not finishing this sooner. I kinda fell out of the writing mood. I just recently got motivated to write something and I wanted to finish this since I had been thinking about it at work. No, this isn't where it ends and I think I may have one or two more parts left which I'm already planning on writing. Hope you all enjoy. Sorry for leaving it for so long. Please, review. It helps my plot bunnies!


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